Oh, we like war. We like war. We're a war-like people. We like war because we're good at it.
You know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice.
This country's only 200 years old and already we've had 10 major wars.
We average a major war every 20 years in this country, so we're good at it.
And it's a good thing we are. We're not very good at anything else anymore.
Can't build a decent car. Can't make a TV set or a VCR. What the fuck?
Got no steel industry left. Can't educate our young people. Can't get health care to our old people.
But we can bomb the shit out of your country, all right?
We can bomb the shit out of your country, all right?
Especially if your country is full of brown people.
Oh, we like that, don't we? That's our hobby. That's our new job in the world, bombing brown people.
Iraq, Panama, Grenada, Libya. You've got some brown people in your country. Tell them to watch the fuck out.
Or we'll goddamn bomb them.
But when's the last white people you can remember that we bombed? Can you remember the last white?
Can you remember any white people we've ever bombed? The Germans. Those are the only ones.
And that's only because they were trying to cut in on our action.
They wanted to dominate the world. Bullshit. That's our fucking job.
Think of how we started. Think of that. This country was founded by a group of slave owners
who told us all men are created equal. Oh yeah. All men. Except for Indians and niggers and women, right?
Always like to use that authentic American language. This was a small group of unelected
white male land-holding slave owners who also suggested their class be the only one allowed
to vote. Now that is what's known as being stunningly and embarrassingly full of shit.
I think Americans really show their ignorance when they say they want their politicians to be
honest. What are these fucking cretins talking about? If honesty were suddenly introduced into
American life, the whole system would collapse. No one would know what to do. Honesty would fuck
this country up. And I think deep down Americans know that. That's why they elected and re-elected
Bill Clinton. That's why. Because the American people like their bullshit right out front where
they can get a good strong whiff of it. Clinton might be full of shit, but at least he lets you
know it. Dole tried to hide it, didn't he? Dole kept saying, I'm a plain and honest man. Bullshit.
People don't believe that. What did Clinton say? He said, hi folks, I'm completely full of shit,
and how do you like that? And the people said, you know something, at least he's honest.